Ask open questions

Try to learn more about a challenge and help your team member overcome it, instead of trying to solve the problem yourself

If your team often bring problems or challenges to their one-to-ones, resist the urge just to tell them what to do. You may know less about the problem than you think, and your solution might be wrong or just plain frustrating. Solving a problem for someone won’t do anything to help them solve it themselves next time.

Instead of giving an answer, ask open questions to help your team work through problems themselves. Dig into their decision making, and ask why they made the choices they did. You’ll both learn more about the problem, and a better solution might quickly become clear.

If you must give an answer yourself, don’t tell your team member what to do. Instead ask, “what would you think about...” By keeping the solution open you’ll encourage further discussion, and you make it easier for them to disagree with your idea too. This is important: your team member probably understands the problem better than you, and might see a clear reason why your idea is no good. But you’re the boss, and they might feel pressured to agree with your idea. Offering it via a question makes it easier for them to offer criticism, and makes the idea feel less like an order.

Remember that one-to-ones aren’t exams or interviews. Asking good questions - asking ‘why’ - is important, but don’t be a toddler. Asking why over and over again is only ever going to annoy someone. Read your team member’s mood too. In periods of heavy stress people sometimes do just want an answer. That’s OK.

When to take this action

This action is from 'Ask, don't tell' and should be used when someone is stuck, when your team aren't solving their own problems, when you're always answering questions, when you see someone needs help